Are Parents Ruining Sports for Kids?

     One of the saddest stories I have heard was the circumstances that led to the death of a high school soccer referee just twenty minutes from where I work. How did he die? One blow to the face with the fist of a disgruntled teenage soccer player dropped him on the field and a week later took his life. Having this take place 
so close to home really got me thinking more seriously about violence and aggression in sports. Where did this young man’s anger problem originate? Although no one can really say, some have argued that parents have become one of the biggest problems in ruining or at least tainting their children’s ability to enjoy the fun of sports and practice good sportsmanship. It seems that parents often react more stupidly to negative outcomes in sports than the players themselves. Maybe this is why one writer suggests that parents are getting in the way of the positive impact sports can have on kids, claiming that these benefits came better to kids in a time where parents more or less stayed out of organizing and overseeing the games.  

     I don’t think it’s fair to place the blame solely on parents for sports violence or dysfunction. I wouldn’t even place most of the blame on them. Sports have probably sparked antisocial behaviors since just about forever. I agree with the sentiments of one writer who argued that parents often receive an unfair proportion of the blame for problems in youth sports. He marveled that one writer would even refer to parents as “the unseemly underbelly of youth sports.” He asks whether parents are really worse than the things that are done by schools, coaches, recruiters, agents and so forth.

     Although I don’t think parents should shoulder the blame, there is no doubt that the parent’s role in sports is a worthy topic for consideration and possible reform. Researchers are seeking to better understand how parents influence their kids’ attitudes and behaviors in sports and many are trying to implement changes to create better sports parents.

     Two recent Deseret News articles highlight the attention sports parents are getting in the news. One discusses a recent finding that athletes whose parents pay more money for their sports activities often feel pressure to perform better and, as a result, are less likely to enjoy participating. The other discusses why many young athletes said they would rather parents not attend their athletic events.

    In an effort to “turn the game back over” to the kids, some leagues have tried to set rules about parent behavior at games. A great example is silent soccer. In some soccer leagues, parents and coaches are only allowed to cheer their team with nonverbal actions like clapping. This is meant to prevent parents or coaches from pressuring the kids and to allow the kids to be the ones figuring out how the game will go.

     While we can all agree that there are some crazy and inappropriate parents out there, we should not forget that there are many parents out there who are doing a great job. There are many young athletes who are getting the benefits that come from sports because their parents are teaching them how to do it right. This is definitely an issue where discussion needs to continue and improvements need to be made, but let’s not see only the dark side of sports parenting. There is a lot of good to see too.